just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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