butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
so that wasnt chicken after all
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
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