it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
