At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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