I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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