There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
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