May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
