Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
