i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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