He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
