i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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