I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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