Why are handjobs necessary in class?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
