i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
