It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
