He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
