I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
