i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
