google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
