Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
