Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
