I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
How does one acquire holy water?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
