i just google imaged poop.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Randomize
