i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
NoShamevember. You game?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
