No, you can still breathe under the balls.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
