If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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