Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
