I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
