thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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