Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
