whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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