Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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