You're completely useless in the revolution.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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