So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
