I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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