I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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