My first STD was from a foam party
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
