Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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