I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
