Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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