i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
