Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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