turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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