Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
