Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
