Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
