I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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