come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
