Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
