Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
