well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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